Cognitive Grief

 

The world as I have known it here in the United States is changing.

 What is my response? What is your response?

As I ponder what is happening, I keep coming back to a lesson we learned in Mozambique.

There was a time in Mozambique when home invasions were becoming more and more common. In one of the home invasions, a missionary was injured and needed to be evacuated by air ambulance. This missionary, a pilot and piano player, had a hand injury so bad that we didn’t know if he would ever be able to do those two things again. While we gave lip service to “We will not fear; God is in control,” the mission community as a whole started to show signs of panic and irrational thinking. At the time, the community thought we were handling the crisis well; but looking back my husband and I have come to realize that many of our decisions were made out of fear and grief. Our world had been shaken up in a way we weren’t expecting. God had allowed one of our own to be injured.

The situation we are facing here in the USA now has some of those same themes. As Christians, we know that we are to trust and that it will be ok. But there is this fear of the unknown that wants to creep into our minds and hearts to control us. So what do we do?

A very wise lady and mentor to me in the missionary community put together a presentation on grief. I attended her lecture, not sure how it would be relevant. What I learned that night has radically changed how I view many uncertain events in my life. I’d like to share some things that I learned.

This definition of grief, gave me so much hope. “Grief is a natural process of discovering what was lost, what is left, and what is possible.” John Schneider. For the first time, I heard about cognitive losses: how you perceive and know things. Most of us are familiar with grief for loved ones who have died. But we don’t think about this idea of grieving cognitive losses.

Cognitive losses include things like: dreams, security, safety, trust, mental sharpness, lifestyle, plans for the future, etc. Often we are scared to try to unpack what grief in this area looks like. What if I can’t stop crying? What good can come from acknowledging it? What if it takes too much time? What if I do the process but it’s doesn’t “fix” anything? These questions are all coming out of a place of fear in our lives. To deal with grief takes courage and strength. But to not deal with grief leaves a person feeling stuck and frustrated.

As we correctly deal with our grief, it gives us room in our hearts to help others deal with their grief. It gives space to show love when you just want to judge. It gives wisdom to see past what is being said to what is behind the words.

There are many different ways to deal with grief, but the first and most important thing is to call it what it is and what it is not. Example: So today I am grieving the loss of security for my country and my family and life as we know it for a season because of the coronavirus. But the coronavirus is NOT bigger than my God. This is not a one-time statement but something that you need to revisit as it comes to mind. May I encourage you during this time of grief to make sure that you ask God to place the Helmet of Salvation on your head to help control your thoughts. Ask God to show you the lies that Satan is throwing at your mind to cause more grief or panic.

I have found personally that sometimes just acknowledging that I am grieving what I have always known, and reminding myself that God is still in control, gives me the ability to move forward. Sometimes it takes more intentional work and really taking each thought captive and comparing it against God’s Word for what is true. (check out the my blog on lamenting to help with the process)  But whether it’s a one-time thing or a process over days, I have found that acknowledging the grief and calling it what it is has always given me room in my heart to love others better. It’s not a sign of weakness but a way to start to deal with the emotions, process what is really going on, and then caring for others as they process.

I don’t know where you find yourself in the journey that is now facing us here in the USA, but I encourage you to acknowledge that life has changed and we need to move forward. Not because we have answers but because we have a God who has the answers. May we acknowledge that there is a form of grief that goes with the uncertainty and change of life as we knew it. May we process our own grief in the situation, may we always remember 2 Corinthians 1:4 “He comforts us in all our trouble so that we can comfort others.” It is worth taking time to think through this SO THAT we can minister more effectively to those God has placed in our influence.

Cul-de-sacs, Conduits, and Covid 19

Psalms 46: 1-3,11 NLT

¹ God is our (Heidi’s) refuge (safe place)

 and strength (energy),
    always ready(God’s timing is perfect)

 to help in times of trouble (that includes covid 19).
² So we (Heidi) will not fear (be angry)

when earthquakes come (my world feels like it’s falling apart)
    and the mountains crumble into the sea. (there is so much drama around me)
³ Let the oceans roar and foam. (let the anger and fear surface)
    Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! (let the anxiety be expressed)

¹¹ The Lord of Heaven’s Armies (the Great I AM, the beginning and end)

is here among us;(is holding me, Heidi, in His hands)
    the God of Israel is our fortress. (God has the answers and is my safe place)

During these times, I have been thinking and meditating on how I turn my grief over the many losses into an action that is healthy and keeps me moving without getting stuck. My heart’s cry is to come out of this time having processed the grief in a biblical way and being stronger in who I am in Jesus.

In my searching and thinking, the word “lament” kept surfacing. Lament is an action word—a word that moves you from one place to another. But how do I do that? Is it even biblical? As I was thinking about this, I read an article by Mark Vroegop called Strong Churches Speak the Language of Lament on thegospelcoalation.org. This statement jumped out at me: “Laments are not cul-de-sacs of sorrow, but conduits for renewed faith.” My heart jumped; I loved this idea. For a short season, we may need to go through the circle of grief. But in lamenting, we are moving from that circle or cul-de-sac of sorrow into becoming a channel of God’s grace and love that God can use for his glory. I kept reading; Vroegop lays out four steps to a good lament.

1. Turn to Prayer
2. Bring our Complaints
3. Ask Boldly
4. Choose Trust

Although the article came from a reliable source, I wanted to see this pattern demonstrated in the pages of Scripture. David came to mind, so I turned to the Psalms to see if I could see this pattern. As I read over psalm after psalm, I saw part of this pattern over and over again. David always starts with addressing God for who he is, like in the passage above. (God is our refuge and strength). In some psalms, David complains and asks boldly; in others, he does only one of these. But he always chooses to trust God in the end.

As I pondered, I have come to believe that the fourth step is really the step that gets us moving out of the cul-de-sac and to becoming a conduit of God’s love and grace. I am finding, though, that unless I walk through the first steps with a vulnerability and authenticity with God, the fourth step is hard to move into. Only as we bring our true feelings, complaints, fears, and frustrations to our Heavenly Father in prayer, can we really leave them at the cross. Only when we give these to Jesus and ask him to carry the pain, can we truly choose to trust. I love how David ends this psalm: “God is my fortress.” God is my safe place. I don’t know what is happening or what is going to happen, but God is my safe place, the one I can trust.

I believe David understood about being vulnerable. He understood that his story really was not about himself. His story was about bringing God glory in every situation: in the pain and in the joy, in the laughter and the tears. Over and over, you see David reminding God that this craziness is really part of God’s story and God should do something. But in the end, David always surrenders to God his own ideas, hopes, and dreams for what might have been. David takes his hands off the controls and says, “God, I trust you know what you are doing. So I rest in you. Use me for your story.”

So I have been learning how to express to Jesus my fear, my anxiety, my grief. I often even let him know exactly what I would do if I was in charge. But then I leave those things in the hands of Jesus at the foot of the cross, and I walk away,

* choosing to trust that my God doesn’t make mistakes even in the middle of the chaos

* choosing to trust that the purpose of my life story is to point people to Jesus (my story really is not about me anyway)

*choosing to release my perceived control over my life, so that I can be part of God’s story.

“Lord, teach us to be people who are conduits of your love, who have truly processed our grief and losses. People who are choosing to trust you, even when we don’t understand. People who are willing to give up our “rights” so we can bring you glory in all we do.”

Christmas Spirit, what EVER!

I glanced down at my “To Do” list and groaned.

To do:

• Email Josie about the Christmas play
• Make sure home school happens today
• Make the sugar cookies dough for tomorrow
• Text Jill to check if kids are better
• Contact Sue about Christmas party
• Remember to feed my kids
• Text Mary about meeting on Wed
• Call Emma about Christmas program
• Remember to wash needed clothes for Christmas program tonight
• FIND MY CHRISTMAS SPIRT

It’s that time of year again, when the “to do” list is longer than we can handle. The finances get tight and tempers start to rise.  Our hearts feel overwhelmed and frustrated. 

As I climbed out of the car to rush my kids to their choir practice, the song “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” was playing on the radio.  My heart sarcastically remarked, “Yeah right, if you only knew.  I remember a time when life was slower and Christmas was fun.  That was a long time ago.” 

But then that sweet still small voice spoke.  Breathing a reminding into my heart, “What are you choosing?  Are you choosing people or events?  Are you choosing lots of activities or just being present?”

I paused to reflect.

I’ve been working through Galatians in my personal time.  The first two chapters are all about how the church had allowed the laws from Judaism to control how they were responding to new believers.  While they were free in Christ, they were still trying to live under the law.  The two didn’t work.  They were trying to live in both the old and new way of life.  They had allowed the law to hold more value than a relationship with Jesus.

I know that Paul was referring directly to the laws of Judaism that had creep into the faith of the church at Galicia.  But what if the “laws” that I’ve allowed to creep into my life are wrong values in my heart.  What if the “laws” that governing my Christmas activities is more about unrealistic expectations that I have placed on myself and the ministry God has given me.  What if “laws” are the fact that I’ve allowed myself to buy into the mindset that it’s my job to keep all the balls that I’m juggling in the air.    

Galatians 2: 16a  reads “Yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ,” (ESV)  Justification, the act of being made righteous, doesn’t happen by following the law, rules prescribing what a person must do.  What rules/self expectations have I allowed to creep into my heart?  Rules/expectation like

• I have to keep my house perfectly during this time.
• My Christmas decorations have to look like Martha Steward.
• I must make as many Christmas goodies as possible.
• I must make sure the presents under the tree are exactly what is expected.
• I have to attend all local Christmas programs that I knew someone who is in it.
•  I must make time for every need I see during this Christmas season because it can be hard time for people…. 

 Unrealistic expectations have a way of creeping into our minds and unknowingly we often allow them to rule our hearts.  Expectations which are good and sound Godly, but they start ruling our hearts and becoming idols (something we serve beside God).  Expectations that we can never have the time or energy to complete and then guilt comes in like a wave.  The guilt of never being enough.   The guilt that leaves us feeling emotionally drained and ready to pull away from everyone around us.  The guilt that makes us paste on the fake smile and pretend that it’s all good.

One of the names of Jesus is Emmanual, “God with us”.  Jesus coming was so we could have a living, vibrant, and personal relationship with God.  Over and over during Jesus’ ministry, we see Jesus positively pointing out those who choose to be present in the moment, not those who are the busiest.

So my choice is, will I allow the rules of my expectations govern my heart this Christmas season or will I choose to be present in each moment that Jesus gives me?  Will I choose grace for my mistakes or will I allow guilt to control my heart?

Will I allow the wash to sit in a pile on the couch, so I can be present as my youngest giggles with glee as she helps decorate the Christmas tree?

Will I be ok with skipping the 10^th different kind of Christmas goodie which means I can’t brag about my accomplishment on facebook, so I can sit and cuddle with my hubby on the couch at the end of the day?

Will I choose to be present, an active participate in the relationships that are around me or will I be consumed with the details/expectations and allow them to rule my heart. 

Jesus, Emmanul (God with us), came to be an active participate in the relationships around him, may we choose to be present in relationships this Christmas season.

God Provided a Time of Rest

One way we saw God go before was when He provided a place for us to rest.

We knew when we were leaving Mozambique, that we were tired and needed a period of rest away for everything.  A time of rest when we didn’t need to think about setting up a new home and adjusting back to our sending culture.  

We looked at different options but going from a missionary’s salary to a pastor’s salary didn’t leave a lot of extra.  We also were looking for something close to MAF headquarters, since that would be our starting location.  One day when Conrad was searching online, he stumbled on to the website of a small ranch that had some cabins for people in ministry.  They even had a scholarship program which if you accepted; your lodging was free for up to two weeks.

He applied.  At first, we were told that they didn’t have anything that would be big enough to house our family.  So we kept looking.  Then we got another email saying that if our kids were wiling to sleep in a camper right next to the cabin, they had an opening for us.  The kids thought this sounded like a wonderful adventure.  Best yet, they informed us that we qualified for the scholarship. 

We asked for a week, but once we were there for a couple of days, we realized how exhausted we truly were.  So we spoke to the couple in charge and they said we could stay until the next people came. So we enjoy 10 wonderful days of rest in this beautiful location.

We are so thankful for people who have a vision to support missionaries and people in full time ministry by providing a place for them to rest.  Living Springs Ranch scholarships are only available because generous people give to this ministry each month to cover their operating cost.  It’s hard to find the words to express what a huge blessing this was to our family. 

As we think back, we also stand in amazement how God went before and a provided a place at the price we could afford to give us a time of rest.

Enjoy some of our pictures from our time there.

Justin learning to start a fire.

We LOVED being surrounded by the pine woods.

There were beautiful flowers all over.

Many fires were built and enjoyed!

Our cabin and trailer

More beautiful flowers in creative ways

Butterflies were all over

There was even a friendly dog! Which the kids LOVED since they had to leave their dogs in Mozambique.

So much wonderful space to run and explore

Enjoying one of the trails around the ranch.

There was horses to feel.  We wouldn't talk about how many bags of carrots we bought during our 10 days. 😉

Fun times roasting marshmallows and (American) hot dogs!  No where else in the world have we found hot dogs that taste quite like the ones you buy here in America.

The views were breath taking, refreshing, and so relaxing.

This is one of my favorite pictures I took while there.  A couple of months ago, I added the verse to it.

Remembering a Year Ago Today

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted.  I would think about posting from time to time but nothing seemed to fit. A little over 4 months ago, one night I couldn't sleep.  I got up and wrote about the day we left. Today, on the one year anniversary of our departing Mozambique, I decided to share what I wrote that night with you. Even tonight as I read and remember, tears are flowing.  Here are my memories ...

"It’s almost 8 months since we boarded that plane the signified our journey in Mozambique with MAF completed.  And yet tonight as I tried to go to sleep, tears started to stream down my face.  I thought by this point I would be so much more adjusted to my “new” life.  I thought that I would have been over all the tears.  But yet I wept as I remembered our departure.

  Our team had all come to the airport to have one last meal together at the terminal restaurant.  As normal the restaurant was slow and the food lacking, but that wasn’t the point.  The point was we together one last time.  Different of the airport workers as well as our national staff would come by and give us their farewell.  As I looked around at my coworkers, I knew how much emotionally this was costing them, yet they stayed.

The plane we were to leave on, landed and the time had come.  We said our farewell to the coworkers with lots of hugs, we picked up our carry-ons and headed for immigration.  Unbeknownst to us, the immigration had changed to a “new” styles just days before.  So what would normally 5 to 10 minutes as we already had all our papers filled out, took 25 minutes just to get to the desk.  Then it took what felt like forever to do one person.  One of our national staff came down and chatted with the guy preparing to check people boarding the plane to make sure he knew we were suppose to be on that plane.  Then the boarding started.  And we waited for immigration to do their thing.  And we waited.  Finally the girls and I were through.  I grabbed all our carry-ons, which security decided they didn’t need to check out anymore since we were already holding up the plane and they knew no bribe from me.  The girls and I headed towards the door that lead to the tarmac. 

As I race out on the tarmac, there is sudden a huge cheer that goes up.  My coworkers were standing at the rail cheering for us as we made our way to the plane.  I placed the carry on onto the cart and they were quickly whisked away to belly of the airplane.  I turned and waved with tears streaming down my face.  There stood our coworkers, waving, cheering, and blowing kisses.  I knew how hard this was for them to stand there and cheer for us, yet they did it because they wanted us to know that we were loved and they were standing behind our “new” calling to a different location.  I boarded the plane with what felt like rivers flowing down my cheeks and as I sat in my seat, the stewardess brought me a handful on napkins.  In a stoic culture, this amount of display of emotions wasn’t normal. 

And then I heard the cry again. I knew another family member had made it through immigration.  Sure enough there was my 8 year old son at the front of the plane.  He had come all by himself as Conrad was still waiting to make it through immigration with all our passports.  Then the final roar and the tears wouldn’t stop.  I knew that my husband deserved the cheering for a job well done, but I also knew it meant this stage in our life was over. 

As the plane took to the skies, I waved frantically to the people waving on the observation deck.  I knew they were going to have to go home and deal with the lost just as I was having going to be dealing with lost.   I knew from experience how hard it is to watch that plane take off with someone you have come to love, and yet they had stayed to watch us board and take off.  The honor they had bestowed on us those last minutes was so much more than I had ever imagine and I wept.  The city was just a blur of colors through my tears.

Later the lady across the aisle from me, asked how long we had lived there.  I said 6 ½ years and this is our last flight out.  She commented how it was obvious that I loved the city and it's people.  That’s the crazy part about love.  Just 7 ½ years earlier, I had boarded a plane and watched a group of people I loved from my passport country wave good-bye as tears streamed down my face.  At that point, I had no idea how deep my love for another country and people would be in the future.  I could not imagine leaving another country and have the same intense emotions and tears.  And yet, here I was leaving with tears stream down my face.  Leaving a life that been the fulfillment of a dream that my husband and I had for years, to follow our Heavenly Father on a new path.  A path different than we expected and yet God had specifically spoken, directed, and we had chosen to obey. "

                             

~~~~~~~~~~

I never dreamed that at the year mark, that tears would still fall so freely as I remember. I thought by this time the “new normal” would feel normal.  But it hasn’t, not yet.  I still find myself stopping from time to time when I want to quick send a text to one of my friends in Mozambique about something. Or checking my email for an update about something happening with MAF.  And we still haven't found an Indian Restaurant that taste like Indian food in our favorite restaurant in Mozambique.  But " new normal" is coming.  I no longer worry if it’s ok to wash if I only had half a batch of laundry because I’m now sure we won’t run out of water here in the USA.  I’m getting used to have electric and internet whenever it is needed. I’m learning my way around the stores again and where to find my favorite things for the cheapest price. J I’m adjusting back to the culture that once was “normal” to me.  As I look back over the year, a new normal is forming.

Together our family is walking the journey and all the emotions that go with such a large transition.  Yes, there are still tears and we still talk about what it would be like to get back on a plane and go back from time to time.  But even then, we know in our hearts that we are right were God wants us. 

Isn’t that what we should all seek, to be right where God wants us at that exact moment.  Listening for His voice as He directs our daily, week, monthly, and yearly steps and decisions. Conrad and I have been focusing on not just listening to God’s voice and noting when He asks for us, but also meditating on what these words whispered into our hearts means about who Jesus is.  As I look back over the answers this last year, I see a God who loves me so much that He has and continues to provide exactly what we need when we need it.   He directs our path and conversations.  He brings healing to hurting hearts.   He protects us.  He is always available, and as we walk this journey of grief and change, He wraps His arms of love around us and comforts us.

Here are a few pictures for our last couple of days in Nampula, Mozambique.

One of the last pictures I took of people with something on their head.  It was always a fun game of eye spy to see what people were carrying whenever we went to town.  Our favorites are still the time we spotted a guy with a toilet and other time a guy with a chest freezer.

One of our favorite restaurants is very close to this beautiful rock.

One of the last drives through this part of the city.

Can't say I miss these roads. :)

In the next couple of days, I want to share with you ways that we have seen God go before us and provide for us in the last year.  

Here Am I Lord, Send Me

“Here am I Lord send me

Here am I Lord, send me

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I Lord, send me”

Photo by Mark and Kelly Hewes

                When Conrad and I were raising our support to serve God in Mozambique with MAF, this was the song we sang together at the end of each service.  Our heart’s cry and desire was to be willing to go and serve God faithfully where ever that would be.  For us, we knew it meant being willing to give up the closeness of family and friends and travel half way around the world to a foreign land to bring the love of God through the use of aviation.  It was a daunting task, but one that we had trained for, prepared for, and seen God directing so we walked in faith.

                But what happens when you have lived overseas for a number of years and Mozambique starts to feel more like home than your sending country and God once again asks, “Will you allow me to send you where ever I want you to go?  Will you serve me faithfully even if it’s different than you planned?  Will you be willing to leave what seems “normal” and makes sense to you now and go to the place I’ve called you?”

                We always envision God calling people away from their home country, but does not God also call people back to their home country sometimes?  Sept 2014, Conrad and I for the first time started to struggle with this concept of being willing to be “called” back to our home country.  For us,our life was such that we didn’t have any immediate plans of leaving Mozambique.  Our kids were ok, we were adjusted, we had a great team to work with, and God had given both of us a ministry which fulfilled us.  We had seen many people come and go but we weren’t planning on going anytime soon.  Then God called.  The calling shook our world.  It didn’t fit our plans or even how we viewed ourselves.  But God continued to pursue us, first individually then as a couple. 

                One night Conrad and I were sitting on the couch discussing our sending church.  They had started a search for new leadership due to the senior pastor having pancreatic cancer and the other two pastors wanting to retire.  As we were talking and wondering what God was going to do and who He was going to provide, Conrad heard almost an audible voice saying that he needed to be available to be the next leader of our sending church.  He was shocked and took it to his men’s group to pray about it.  During the same time, God had been dealing with my heart and had spoken informing me that a change was coming.  I wrestled with God and tried to convince Him that what I had heard wasn’t right.  But in the end, I knew I needed to surrender and trust Him.  A couple weeks later, Conrad shared with me what God had said to him.  In my heart there was a peace that can’t be explained.  Not long after that God confirmed that we were to continue on this path through a picture He gave me.  So we prayed and asked a couple of other people to pray with us. 

                After 5 months of prayer, we made the call to our church overseer to say that we would be willing to be considered to serve in this way.  Our prayer as we made the call was that someone would have thought of our name before we called because God doesn’t speak in secret.  Sure enough, the overseer already had our name on a short list of people he was hoping to make contact with in the near future.

                When we were home on our last short furlough (Sept-Nov 2015), we had a number of meetings with leadership.  Although at the beginning there were others being discussed, by the end of the process there was agreement that our names needed to be presented to the church for consideration.  So at the end of Oct, our names were presented to the church and they were asked to pray and seek God about the matter. 

                For many it was a shock;  weren’t Conrad and Heidi called for life to overseas missions?  Our only response was that is what we thought too, but God’s ways aren’t always our ways.  Many years before we had promised to follow God where ever He would lead us and serve Him faithfully there.  For us it wasn’t so much about location anymore but about obedience.

                We returned to Mozambique while the church took more time to think and pray before putting it to a congregational vote.  In mid December 2015, we received the outcome of the vote.  The church voted 96%  “yes” to having Conrad return as their full time senior pastor.  Our current plan is to return stateside around the end of May and start the transition phase out of MAF into leadership in the church.  We plan that by September we will be fully on staff at the church.

                For the last year and half, we have struggled with God’s new call on our lives.  We were content serving with MAF in Mozambique;  why would God move us?  We know our purpose is to bring God glory where ever we live, but can God REALLY want us to move for His glory?  As we have wrestled, it has come down to one thing, will we obey?  We both knew that we couldn’t and didn’t want to disobey God in any way.  Our hearts desire still is to serve God faithfully where ever He leads us.  And so we walk on in faith, trusting our heavenly Father goes before us.  We are excited to see what the next phase of our life will look like although we grieve the phase we are leaving.  And once again from the other side of the ocean this time, we are saying,

"Lord, I give my life to you,

Take control each day.

I will follow anywhere

Near or far away.

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me

Lord, I want your perfect will

Be my faithful Guide

I will never be afraid,

You are close beside.

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me

Let me see my Mission field,

All around each day.

Fill my heart with Jesus love,

Use me Lord, I pray!

Here am I, Lord send me,

Here am I, Lord send me!

I will serve you faithfully

Here am I, Lord send me"

Words and Music by Ron Hamilton

the location of the next adventure in our journey of following God faithfully

A Little Taste of Heaven

As I was going through a folder on my computer, I came across this piece I had written about 1 1/2 years ago.  At the time, the kids and I were in South Africa while Conrad was in Lesotho doing an engine change on one of the airplanes. Due to elections happening over the time Conrad was going to be gone, it was decided it would be best if the kids and I were not here by ourselves.   As I read the piece again, it was fun to remember that special time in the car.  It was good for me to be reminded again today that the "church" is global with many languages but one God.  It was refreshing for me today to once again reflect on Heaven. 

  In Mozambique, we don’t have the privilege of Christian Radio.  So on the way home from church in South Africa, my kids and I were enjoying the Christian songs being played over the radio.  My daughter commented how they would play one song in English and then the next song was in Afrikaans.  Afrikaans is the language that the white South Africans in that area of South Africa speak.  It is somewhat related to Dutch, because of the Dutch settlers that came many years ago. 

   So the English song had been played and the Afrikaans song came on.  From the back seat I hear, “Turn it up mom, we know this song.”

“But it’s being sung in Afrikaans”, I replied.

“I know but what do we call this in English?”

It was the Battle Hymn of the Republic.  I listened as the soloist belted out in Afrikaans, words that I was sure were comparable to “My eyes have seen …”  When he got to the chorus, the kids and I joined in English. “Glory, Glory Hallelujah.  Glory, Glory Hallelujah.  His truth is marching on.”   We listened to the next verse and at the chorus once again joined in heartily.  The car filled with a mix of Afrikaans and English all singing the same song to the same tune.

   It was then that I realized that we were experience a small taste of what Heave may be like.  Each person was praising God in their own heart language and it was beautiful.  The words didn’t sound the same but the message was the same. 

   This started a conversation in the car about if this was a taste of heaven.  The guy singing on the radio and us, together we were having so much fun praising God even though we weren’t speaking the same language.  We could just imagine a very diverse group of people standing before God, singing heartily “Glory, Glory Hallelujah, Glory, Glory Hallelujah. His truth is marching on.”  I could imagine the swirls of other languages around me but the tune the same, the God the same, and the purpose the same.  For that moment, two languages were united in their worship of an amazing God.  It made me long for Heaven in a new way.

Western Most Point in Europe.  

A place we enjoyed visiting in Portugal knowing our family was on the other side of the ocean loving Jesus too, even if we couldn't see them.